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YES, WE DO NOTICE WHEN YOU MAKE A CHANGE – EITHER LARGE OR SMALL – by Lillian Shah

Lillian Shah, fellow author and colleague, had sent me this letter some time ago. I thanked her and promptly filed it away. I just rediscovered it and thought it worth posting. Her book, Healthy by Keeping Track: A Complete Guide to Maintaining Your Own Medical Records is well worth the read.

Shortly after we were first married my husband had his upper wisdom teeth removed, under anesthetic.  Afterwards I drove him home as he was still a bit groggy.  While stopping at a red light I looked at him directly for the first time as he continued to describe his minor surgery.

I immediately interrupted him and asked, “What happened to your front tooth?”

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He had no idea what I was talking about.  “Nothing, why, what’s wrong with it?”  He pulled down the visor on his side and looked at his teeth.  “What is it?  What’s wrong?”

He continued to examine his teeth in the mirror as I resumed driving and continued to tell him, “Your front tooth!  On the right side!  Something’s missing.”

“Oh that,” he said.  I remember something about the doctor mentioning they had bumped my tooth.  It’s nothing.”  As I glanced over I could see he was rubbing the edge of his tooth with his tongue and his fingers, trying to fathom why I was so upset.”

When we got home I said, “Let me have a look,” and turned his head to the left, to the right, and touched the chipped edge with my finger.

It was, I know now, the smallest of small chips, but I was beside myself.  My husband was, and is, very handsome – think Omar Shariff – and I took great pleasure in that fact.  But so far as the case of the chipped front tooth he thought I was truly being silly.

I became more and more irrational about his face.  Although I hadn’t mentioned it to him, I had become convinced that his jaw line was significantly altered and that it was most certainly his surgeon’s fault.  I was even more upset about this than the chipped tooth.

Then we both began to notice something else altogether.  He would absent-mindedly tap his face, just above and a little to the left of his front tooth.  He continued to do it to such an extent that I asked him about it.  “Do you realize you’re tapping your face?”

“Yes,” he replied.  “It’s numb there and I seem to tap at it unconsciously.  I think they might have damaged a nerve when they did my wisdom teeth.”

“And there’s another thing!” I told him, as I couldn’t keep the change in his face contour to myself another second.

The following week my husband had his regular checkup with his dentist.  When he came home he reported that his dentist pronounced the wisdom teeth surgery a complete success and verified my husband’s analysis that a small nerve had indeed been damaged in the process.  He said he would stop noticing it over time and the face tapping would stop.  Then my husband gave me a big grin and asked, “Did you notice anything different?”

“Yes,” I said, “The chip is gone.  Did he put a filling there?”  “No, no,” my husband laughed.  “It was so tiny, he just smoothed it out.”  And on closer inspection, and after touching the tooth again, I realized it had indeed been very, very small, and now it’s absence was not at all noticeable – almost.

Actually it took me months to stop being aware of the changes.  As to the tapping, that also stopped along the way; I’ve long since forgotten when.  And Father Time has slowly but surely had his way with the contours of the very beloved face my husband still wears.

However, I think if it’s someone super dear to you, even the tiniest change can be quite disorienting. When my 50-year-old daughters walk in with a new clothing style or a completely different haircut (or even a slight change in color) I am always taken by surprise.

It is obviously the person we love – not their hair, their voice, their smile, their size, their shape, the way they move – but let there be the least alteration in just one of these aspects of their person and we can’t help but notice and react.

Lois, I think your book is a godsend.  Not everyone can be a great beauty and not many people even aspire to be.  But the miracle of plastic surgery is that it can help make us more comfortable, healthier – and more attractive, to ourselves and to others.  And we all know, that in extreme cases, it allows us to lead the lives we otherwise could not possibly have.

I know you encourage your readers, as they plan this very significant undertaking, to keep a little sympathy and understanding for those nearest and dearest who will need some time to comprehend that the person they love and treasure is still there, just in  slightly (or significantly) different package.

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Learn more.

How Did I Get the Courage to Talk About Such a Taboo Subject? by Lois W. Stern

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A most candid interview with Marjorie Rothstein, host of Beauty 4 the Soul.

Not only is tho interview  an eye popper, but you won’t want to miss this 48 hour special we’ve cooked up for our liseners. Check out this bargain at: : 

http://www.fmgradio.com/beauty4thesoul/2014/07/lois-w-stern-author-presenter-and-creator-of-authors-helping-authors.html

Then listen to me reveal my feelings of humiliation while dealing with the issue of transference toward my plastic surgeon.

http://beauty4thesoul.fmgradio.com.s3.amazonaws.com/b4ts_lois_stern_episode_7.mp3

WHAT IS BEAUTY? – Another Thought on Ageless Beauty by Lois W. Stern

I wrote an article some time ago that created quite a stir titled Step Aside Mother NatureHanna Mae Salcedo’s artcle in the Sun Star this morning brought it back to mind, nudging me to post it once again. Just click on the image below to read this thought provoking article . . .

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or  click here, or copy and paste the following URL into your browser. http://www.sexliesandcosmeticsurgery.com/Articles/mnature.html

But one way or another, just read it! Then let me know your thoughts.

What is your notion of beauty? What do physically beautiful people have that others do not? And why aren’t traits like being strong, smart, compassionate, honest, creative, trustworthy, funny and kind-hearted considered beautiful? These are the questions Hanna Mae Salcedo addresses in her Sun Star article.

My question to Hanna Mae is this: Why do we have to take sides on this issue? Can’t we strive for both? And in achieving some degree of physical beauty, don’t we feel better and project a more positive image, inside and out? To my mind, it’s a matter of balance and degree.

Your comments, please?

THE COSMETIC SURGERY CONSULTATION – A TWO WAY STREET

Some surgeons offer free consultations, but they most often are quick meetings rather than in-depth and personal discussions. (I went on one of those myself and it was a valuable lesson for me! I quickly determined that he was NOT a surgeon I wanted to work with). The experience helped me hone in on what I was really looking for in a surgeon. So it was time well spent.

What should you expect from an in-depth personal consultation?

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The patient’s Side of the Street: You need to communicate your goals, your wants and want-nots. Many perspective cosmetic surgery patients express a similar thought: “I don’t want to look like I have had surgery. I just want to look refreshed.” Some even bring in photos of themselves at a younger age, to help the surgeon envision the look you would look to recapture. But don’t bring in a photo of Julia Roberts and ask to look just like her! You won’t!

The surgeon’s side of the street: The surgeon will first want to determine if you are a suitable candidate for elective aesthetic surgery, so you will be  asked about your medical history. Be honest. Don’t hold back anything. While the vast majority of people are healthy enough to safely undergo elective surgery, some conditions do advise against it. So tell all. As much as you might have your heart and mind set on having these procedure(s), you don’t want to become a  statistic.

Next step in the consultation is for the doctor to listen to your goals, communicate with you about what outcomes you can reasonably expect, and develop an appropriate surgical plan. You will also have the opportunity to look at a range of before and after photos of patients who have undergone the same procedures. Be sure these are this surgeon’s patients, not photos taken by others.

Before your consultation ends, whip out that list of questions you have prepared in advance. Now is your opportunity to ask the ones still unanswered.

By the time you leave this office, you will have a pretty good idea of whether or not you feel completely comfortable placing your face or body in the hands of this surgeon to perform the procedure you desire.

Want to know the twelve questions women often think about but are too embarrassed to ask their plastic surgeons? Click here.

 

SOLUTION TO YOUR SKIN CARE PROBLEM: RED, DRY, ITCHY OR SENSITIVE SKIN

M.Arena_newMadeleine Arena

There is a Solution for Most Every Skin Problem
You Just Need to Find It.

Sally’s Story

I never know from one day to the next how my skin will look. My skin is so reactive, but I am never quite sure what it is reacting to. The clock is ticking and I can see it on my face. I am between a rock and a hard place. I need moisture and anti-aging products, but when I use them my face stings and burns. So if I don’t moisturize, I wrinkle; and if I do, I react. In addition, my skin is so flaky that my make-up cakes into the wrinkles and makes my face and eyelids look like I have baked a cake on them. As if all these issues weren’t enough, the perpetual redness of my cheeks and neck make me look like I am in a constant state of embarrassment.

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Sally’s Skin Problems

  • dry, flaky skin, dull looking skin
  • sensitive, itchy
  • makeup cakes into wrinkles
  • reacts poorly to skin care products
  • red, flushed color to cheeks and neck
  • puffy eyelids

At the end of her patience, Sally made an appointment with a dermatologist well known for her ability to treat women with sensitive skin. The doctor explained that a damaged skin barrier (the outer layer of her skin), caused her problem. Sally learned that when you cannot keep important elements like moisture inside the barrier, and you cannot keep problematic things such as irritants, allergen and bacteria outside the barrier, a cycle of inflammation begins. Inflammation leads to itching and a continued deterioration of the barrier. Hence, the skin cannot retain water, and dehydration occurs, which causes more inflammation, itching and dryness.

Problem # 1
Dryness, Crepiness and Wrinkles

Treatment plan for this problem
The main objectives of Sally’s plan were to alleviate skin dryness and minimize both her wrinkles and the stinging and redness caused by skin sensitivities. A gentle hydrating cream cleanser designed for sensitive skin types was recommended for twice daily use.

In the evening after cleansing, Sally was advised to apply an anti-oxidant night cream and to look for products that contained moisturizing ingredients such as Borage seed oil, Ceramides, Pro-Vitamin B-5 or olive oil and anti-oxidant ingredients such as Idebenone, Coenzyme Q-10 and Grape Seed extract. After cleansing in the morning, she was to apply a moisturizer with an SPF-30 or more, but was cautioned to pay close attention to how her skin responded to the moisturizer with sunscreen.

Problem #2
Redness and Stinging

Treatment Plan for this problem
Sally’s dermatologist recommended that she see an allergist, who could perform a patch test to further identify her specific triggers. However her dermatologist gave her a list of some of the most common sensitizing ingredients and advised Sally as a first step, to avoid those items temporarily and see if that helped reduce her skin sensitivity. The dermatologist explained that once the cycle has begun, all products used must soothe and desensitize. (She also advised Sally that while the redness might be annoying, her primary issues were dryness, crepiness and wrinkles.)

Sally’s plan incorporated products rich in anti-inflammatory and antioxidant ingredients to help rebuild the barrier and treat wrinkles. She was advised to use a gentle hydrating cream cleanser, as it also would effectively deep cleanse her skin without irritation. Her dermatologist recommended that in the morning she was to apply an anti-inflammatory serum after cleansing, and follow with a moisturizer and sunscreen with micronized Zinc Oxide (minimum of SPF-30), as it might be better suited to her sensitive skin.

In the evening after cleansing, she was instructed to apply an anti-inflammatory/anti-oxidant night cream as well. The doctor recommended products that contained anti-inflammatory ingredients such as Aloe Vera, Green Tea, Licorice, Evening Primrose oil and Zinc, and wrinkle treatment ingredients such as peptides for collagen and elastin production, Coenzyme Q-10 and Grape Seed extract.

Want to learn the basic Do’s and Dont’s of good skin care habits? Click on Skin Care

For more information on the most effective ingredients in today’s skin care products, Click here to learn all about the cosmeceuticals best suited to the needs of your skin.

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Now also available in all e-reader formats with full color pictures.

In chapter four of Tick Tock, Stop the Clock ~ Getting Pretty on Your Lunch Hour, Madeleine Arena presents a number of different, typical real life skin problems and how to best resolve them.

Beauty Within

                Beauty Without . . .

                               What’s Your Passion?

Discover the many dimensions of beauty.

Lois W. Stern

AGELESS BEAUTY – GETTING A LITTLE WORK DONE . . .

Autumn is just around the corner – the time women begin to seriously consider (or reconsider)  “Getting s little work done”.  With this professional courtesy offer, you can purchase copies @ $8.95 while supplies last – and at this price they are going to go fast!. 

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Your order will include 12 copies of Sex, Lies and Cosmetic Surgery plus a FREE 5.5 X 8 inch laminated sign to post in your office. 

Learn more about this award winning book at: www.sexliesandcosmeticsurgery.com. Read the reviews – even written up in the Style section of the NYTimes.

 Want to offer patients some great encouragement and calming advice coming from over 100 women who have been there, done that? Sex, Lies and Cosmetic Surgery has received glowing reviews from several top board certified plastic surgeons, read and endorsed by three members of the ASPS before being placed in first position on their online bookstore (until their bookstore feature was removed from their website.) 

 

Click here to  place your secure order.

And here is a picture of the laminated sign that will be included with your order.

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WOULD YOU LIE ABOUT YOUR FACELIFT? by Lois W. Stern

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I just read about a woman who has scheduled a facelift, but instead of leveling with her husband, she has told him  that she’s going away on a business trip. Soon she’ll be traveling out of state – off  to her selected plastic surgeon’s office.

Sure her absence is easily explained, but what about the post surgery bruises and swelling? How does she explain all that? “Easy,” says she. “I’ll just tell him I was in a car accident.”

Now  a car accident that causes injury to your face must be more than a simple fender bender. Won’t her husband want more details?  What about damage to the car? Is she going to run it into a brick wall to feign authenticity?  Wouldn’t he ask about those insurance claims that need to be filed? I can see where we are setting up a house of cards here, with one lie pressing against the next until those cards all fall down.

When I was interviewing women for my book, Sex, Lies and Cosmetic Surgery, I spoke to several others who either concealed or minimized the extend of their surgeries. My hair stylist was one. She confided that she told had her significant other that she was having her eyes done, when in fact she went for a full facelift. When he asked her why she had stitches behind her ears, she answered, “I don’t know, I guess that’s the way they do eyes now.” And funny as it sounds, he actually believed her!

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I honestly don’t think we have to share every detail of our beauty routines with our spouses, but where do we draw the line? Would you tell your spouse or significant other? What would you do if you were in those same shoes? I’d love to hear from some of you.

Looking forward to keeping in touch!

Lois W. Stern